Live With It
by Theoris
Summary: An epilogue to Angels of Death: There are still some loose ends left, like finally dining together (albeit in a haunted house) and Rachel figuring out the real reason she can't smile properly for Zack...


_**Hello! Before you read the following piece, I need to clarify some things:**_

 _ **1\. I haven't forgotten my other works and I'll be back!**_  
 _ **2\. This oneshot takes place directly after the game/anime ending. While I was absolutely fine with Angels of Death to end with an open ending, I soon had this idea and thought it would be fun to put words to it. I really liked writing it and I hope you will enjoy it as well!  
** **3\. Aaaand, yeah. I still haven't found a good beta-reader, so there will be quite a few mistakes I'm afraid. Sorry about that. :3**_  
 _ **4\. I'm so obsessed with this franchise. I'll probably write another fanfic later on (and play the game of course). Happy reading now!**_

 _ **~Theoris**_

* * *

 _"Zack… Please, kill me."_

 _"...then stop yer blubberin' and smile."_

Rachel opened her eyes and saw only the intense gaze of her angel and saviour. He was lowering her carefully to a messy bed, but stopped to hover over her when he realized that she was looking at him.

"Ah, yer awake. I can't believe you actually fell asleep while hangin' over my shoulder. I ran pretty fast too, y'know."

Rachel blinked, still tired and trying to comprehend what had just happened. She was with Zack again for the first time in over a year. She could hardly believe it. So she reached out a hand and pinched him in the face. Zack recoiled as if he had been bitten.

"What the _fuck_ , Ray?! Why did you do that for?!"

"I just needed to make sure it was really you and not a dream."

That explanation softened his expression somewhat.

"Did you really think I would've left you there in that madhouse? Don't you know me at all?" he chided sternly, but some other emotion seeped through his guard and Rachel took note of it. She reveled in the fact that it truly seemed to matter to him that she was viewing him in a good light. That fact made her stomach all warm and fuzzy inside. She smiled that small smile she had shown him before, unsure if he would see it in the darkness of the room.

"No, because we made a promise to each other. I believed you would come for me as soon as your time was up in prison."

"That's my girl."

She continued:

"But then I heard you were sentenced to death. I thought I would never see you again…"

Zack snorted.

"Ain't no prison's gonna keep me away from what I want. As you can see", he added and painted his bandaged face in a broad grin.

"Yes. So, where are we?"

"In an abandoned house - a _haunted_ house if you will. It's been 'round for some time, but nobody's lived here for many years. I figured it would be safer than the streets."

"A haunted house? Are you sure it's safe?"

"Well, obviously! Ghosts doesn't exist, you know that right?"

Rachel nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, you're right."

"Damn straight I am! Anyway, I'll go find somethin' to eat for us. I stole some goods before I brought you here. Be right back."

He abruptly turned and left her in the dark room, stomping hard down some stairs. Rachel lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax some more.  
Zack had come for her. She was still wanted. The thought alone brought tears down her cheeks again. He returned before she could dry them away. Never mind, the darkness would hide them just fine.

 _Click._

The room lit up in a warm light from out of nowhere and when her eyes had adjusted she spotted Zack by the door, confusion himself.

"... the hell? The electricity's on?" He turned it off and then on again, not entirely convinced the first time.

"No, don't do that. You'll attract attention to us if you play with the light like that. For all the rest of the town knows, there's no one here."

She left the bed and hurried to the window to pull the curtains forth and stop the light from leaking out. Zack paused in his experiment and turned sulky.

"Meh. If anyone comes over to snoop around, I'll kill them." He waved around the new scythe he must have acquired earlier in the air.

"I'm sure", Rachel said and sat back on the old bed. She started to sneeze violently out of the blue.

"Whassup? Did you catch a cold on the way here? Don't get sick on me Ray, I've no medicine here…"

"No, it's fine", she explained, gasping for air. "It's just the curtains; they were full of dust."

"Oh. That's good." He seemed a little off, shuffling from foot to foot. She had never seen him unsure before.

"You don't have to worry about me like that. In the end, you're still going to kill me so it wouldn't matter if I was sick now. Don't you agree, Zack?"

But he didn't agree. Instead he rested the scythe against the wall and picked up the bag he had brought from downstairs. He sat down next to her on the bed and emptied the content of the bag between them.

"There you go. Have yer pick."

The blanket was covered with pieces of bread, fruit, smoked ham in plastic containers, some water bottles and what looked like a couple of wine bottles.

"I found those here in the house", Zack explained and pointed towards the wine. "How old did you say you were again?"

"Fourteen."

"Right, you ain't gettin' any of that", he said and grabbed the wine for himself.

"I don't want it in the first place."

"Good, 'cus you can't. You may be brains and all but yer still just a little girl. Someone's gotta look after you now. Don't gimme that look. I'm the adult here, got it? Now eat some. Custody-food's shit, I would know."

Rachel dug in and Zack quickly followed suit, eating their fill of what he had stolen for them. When they finished, the adult then proceeded to try and open a bottle of wine with his scythe, a feat Rachel did not believe to be the most safe (or even efficient) one. ("Zack, stop. You're just going to cut yourself..." "Shuddup! This is the only way, okay?" _CRACK!_ "See, it worked!" "...and you got glass all over the floor…" "What's it matter to you anyway? Like you would want to walk barefoot in here in the first place…!").

Zack slumped down on the bed again and rested his back against the wall, taking a sip from the bottle. Rachel eyed him cautiously over her own drink of water.

"Uuuuh~"

He looked like he had just swallowed fermented fish.

"Does it taste bad?"

He took another gulp.

"It's fuckin' sour. Fuck."

"Maybe it's expired. I can check it if you~..."

"Stop fussin' over me, Ray. I'll do what I want."

Another small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, but he missed it again. They sat together for a long moment, enjoying the freedom and each others company. Outside, the faint sound of cars driving by and the rustle of leaves in the wind could be heard and it was strangely soothing. She didn't mind sitting on an old bed in a haunted house in the middle of the night, because Zack was here with her. All she had wanted was to be needed in life and in death and now that they had escaped together the life-part was over. Now all that remained of their promise was for Zack to kill her.

"Ray, tell me", he said suddenly, glancing over at her. His eyes could still focus, but his eyelids were starting to droop slightly cause of the alcohol.

"Why were you cryin' earlier..?"

Rachel blinked in confusion.

"What time are you talking about?"

"You were cryin' in here when I turned the lights on. And when I picked you up from the window earlier."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did."

Rachel looked away as she tried to gather her thoughts. It was for once surprisingly hard.

"I'm... not sure. I don't know."

She finally locked eyes with him again and found him pensive. Thoughtful.

"You don't know, huh?"

He looked at her again before he draped one arm around her small shoulders, pulling her closer.

"Are you cold? You look cold to me, wearin' only that", he said and nodded at her white nightdress. Rachel shook her head. It was a warm summer's night after all.

"No, I'm not. But this is nice." She rested her head against his shoulder and enjoyed the warmth from his body transferring into hers.

"Nice, you say…" he trailed off. "Hmm. If… if you could've gone back in time and grown up with a good family… What would you have done then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Uhm.. like, what would you have become? Worked as?"

Such a strange question. She frowned, thinking carefully. She couldn't remember a time when she had dreamed of a future profession at all. In such a dysfunctional home, there hadn't been room for fantasies of that kind. Or had it? That's when she recalled an old thought of hers.

"I would have wanted to be a veterinarian."

The conclusion made her happy - imagining herself nursing animals back to life, instead of just sewing them together and claiming them forever. Zack chuckled softly next to her ear.

"'should've guessed that one", he admitted.

"Why do you ask?"

"I… thought a lot about you in the year that passed. I realized I didn't know that much about you in the first place. So I thought about what I would ask you, when we saw each other again."

"Well, I'm here now", she invited and giggled when he tickled her in the ribs.

"No shit", he said. "So, what's yer favorite animal, Ray?"

* * *

She didn't know how much time had passed, but they must have talked for hours. Zack slowly but surely drained the wine bottle, becoming drunker by the hour, but also gentler. He swore less often and ruffled her hair at every chance he could get. By the end of the night, her hair felt like a bird's nest. Not that she minded - it was somewhat nice to feel so appreciated that he couldn't help but ask about her or tease her. It was a blissful last night alive, she concluded. Zack still hadn't brought up the fact or when it would be time to end her life. Every time she had tried to pry an answer from him, he had either changed the subject or barked something along the lines of "I'll decide when I'll decide". Eventually, she gave up. Maybe she wasn't in such a hurry after all - she really enjoyed herself for the moment. He was so warm and reassuring and everything he used to be before they had parted ways and it was so wonderful to see him again.

She didn't notice when her answers turned shorter or her voice slower, but she did notice when Zack shook her gently with the arm still around her shoulders.

"Hey. Don't fall 'sleep on me."

"I'm... not…" she mumbled into his hoodie. He laughed merrily.

"You ain't foolin' anyone. C'mon, get under the covers. Get."

He helped her into bed and tucked her down well and gently. Before he could leave though, she grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"Where… where will you sleep?"

"I'm not gonna sleep yet for a while, don't worry."

She wasn't satisfied with his answer.

"But where will you when you do?"

He shrugged and grinned lazily, tired and drunk and...happy?

"I'll just find a comfy enough couch later. I won't go far from you, okay?"

She must have looked unsure, because he laughed and sat back down on the bed, trying to tug her hand loose from his hoodie.

"Ray, Ray, Ray… what's the matter now?" His drunken ass failed to get out of her grasp. "Damn, yer strong for a girl, stronger than you look…"

"I just wanted to say thank you", she interrupted. "For saving me and bringing me here. For feeding me and taking care of me. For giving me this last night with you, that I will treasure forever in my heart…"

Because she understood now, it all made sense; Zack was going to kill her now, as soon as the night was over. That was why he had been drinking and feeding her. That was why he had been asking about her interests and tucked her in now. He was going to kill her before the next day arrived and she was ready for it. So she needed to say her piece as well, before it got to that. She had to thank him for giving her existence a meaning. It was the least she could do.

Zack seemed positively puzzled by her speech though.

"Hwah?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. "Whaddya mean, 'last night'?"

"You know, before you kill me? This is the last night I'm alive, isn't it?"

He closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes for quite some time, not responding. If he hadn't sighed deeply, she would have thought he had fallen asleep sitting up.

"Show me yer smile", he said finally. She obliged.

"Yeeeaaah… You still have some work to do."

"What?" Now it was Rachel's turn to be confused.

"Uh-huh", Zack said convincingly. "Still got those dead eyes of yers. They're not doin' it for me."

"Oh. Then… then I'll do my best to get rid of them for you…"

"Maybe you shouldn't."

Zack lay a hand over hers, still clutching on his sleeve for dear life.

"This might be the wine talkin', but I think… Maybe, you still have 'em because deep down you don't really want to die. Maybe you never wanted to. That means you've lied to me from the very start when you said you wanted to die. Truth is you don't. You just never realized it yerself."

It was as if she had just been dipped into icy water from head to foot. All the air left her lungs and was substituted for a bone-freezing chill that left no inch of her untouched. She gasped but felt strangled and released both at the same time. Could it be? Was that the reason why? And harsh, drunk, abrasive - _amazing -_ Zack had seen it before her. It made complete sense and not only that, it actually felt right. The haze was lifted from her gaze as her blue eyes found his black and gold ones and saw the truth there. She didn't truly want to die anymore, not since she'd grown close to Zack. She still thought she deserved to die however, but deep down she didn't wish for it. He was right.

"...shit", she murmured finally. Zack threw his head back and roared with laughter.

"Shit indeed, Ray! What a shitfest this has been. But a fun one, I think." He winked at her. "But I forgive you, so don't worry. If you didn't know you were lying, I can't blame you for it…"

"But… what do we do now? If I'm not… content with dying, then I won't be able to truly smile for you and that means you won't kill me. Then what about our promise?"

"Whaddabout it?"

"It will never be kept. All because I'm too selfish…" The sob wrecked through her small body and her empty hand crushed the blanket covering her. Hot tears spilled over and greeted her cheeks and ears and for every drop that fell a new piece of knowledge seemed to fall into place.

"I cried...I c-cried earlier because I was happy to see you… I cried of joy that you came back f-for me… A-and now..."

"And now?" he repeated softly.

"Now I'm sad for your sake… I'm s-so sorry, Zack. For all you w-went through because of me and I c-can't even give you this. I can't even give you my life…!"

"Ray…c'mere."

He ripped the covers away and pulled her from the bed into his arms. Rachel cried harder and clung to her friend with all her might, letting fourteen years of pain force itself out of her eyes and throat, shaking off the heavy shackles that had weighted her mind for so long. Somewhere in the midst of all this she was aware of how wonderful it felt to be hugged by Zack and be this close to him. It was probably all because of the wine that he wouldn't mind touching her, but it didn't matter. She desperately needed his comfort and he gave it to her.

When she calmed down somewhat and could breathe easier he loosed her from the tight hug. He grinned.

"Look at you, all snotty and gross. If I'd known you would cry this much, I'd have stolen baby wipes too."

That made her laugh, still blubbering and sniveling. A warm hand reached her face and dried some of the liquid there.

"Listen here. I know yer the brains here and everything, but my head seems clearer than usual tonight, for some reason…"

"It's the alcohol", she teased, unable to resist. Zack waved one wet finger in front of her.

"Ssssh! Don't interrupt, 's rude."

"Sorry, go on."

"Yeah. So, I was thinkin'… When you got shot before and was dying on me in that shitty building - _like you weren't supposed to_ _do_ \- you said… you said that you didn't mind the promise unkept. That you would carry it with you so that I wouldn't be a liar. You did say that, didn't you?"

Rachel nodded quickly.

"Thought so. Anyway… I realized I like having you 'round. I think… that in the end, that killing you would never… bring me as happy as it would by just keepin' you close by and seeing you everyday…"  
She was stunned by his confession. Stunned and glad, that much that her stomach was in turmoil from the excitement.

"But our promise…"

"Is no good. Didn't you hear me earlier? You lied to yerself when you created it with me. So it's practically worthless now. You don't have to hold yer end to it and I won't be a liar if I don't. And we can swear a new promise, if you'd like. You and me."

Warmth spilled through her like a flower opening for the first sun in spring. She smiled then, from the bottom of her heart.

"Yes. I'd like that, with you."

His smile was so broad and genuine that it reminded her of the sun, shining upon her.

"Good. Then it's decided. Now sleep, dammit. Young girls should be snorin' and shit by now or whatever it is you do. I'll be close by, promise."

"Okay."

She let go of him and he stumbled away, grasping the other wine bottle from the floor and left the room. Rachel pulled the covers back up to her chin and fell asleep, still smiling.

* * *

Rachel awoke later, drowsy but pleased. Still wearing her nightgown and her shoes (a pair of worn boots Zack had found downstairs), she stepped out of the bed and pulled the curtains away to reveal a late afternoon and a dirty room. And a bed full of a sleeping Zack.

"...but... Zack? Zack, wake up."

She shook him slowly, then harder when he wouldn't react. Finally he stirred and raised his face from the pillow to look at her.

"...-hn~"

"... Good morning. Have you been sleeping here with me all day?"

His eyes bulged at the thought and he tried to get up but dropped heavier than a hammer.

"Fuuuuck...my head…!" He shielded his face from the sunshine with his dirty hands and groaned colorful curses into the pillow.

"...I take it you couldn't find a couch then?"

" _...-fuckin' hell!_ Of course I did! I just went to check on you, that's all. Must've fallen asleep instead. Shit, my head is gonna burst like a goddamned grape…!"

She couldn't help but giggling at the strange situation. Zack's fingers parted to reveal a bloodshot eye glaring at her.

"'tis not funny, you brat! This is hell and I'm drownin' in shit and it fucking HURTS..."

Rachel nodded gravely. She picked up one of the water bottles left and sat by the bed.

"I understand. You have my sincerest condolences, good sir. I am sorry, but there is nothing to be done when the hangover has reached such a far state. I am afraid all we can do now is to get your financials together and wait for the inevitable…"

" _...are you FUCKING with me right now?!_ AH, my head…!"

She burst out in laughter and opened the bottle.

"Here. Drink this. You're dehydrated."

"I know that, dammit," he cursed but took the water anyway and greedily drank the whole thing.

"You know, this is kind of nice actually… To care for you like this", she said.

"'The hell it is! Yer a child, yer not supposed to care for a grown up like me."

"But it is nice, isn't it?"

"Hmpf."

She smiled broadly at his adorable stubbornness. The worn pillow swallowed half of his face but his eyes were still fixed on her.

"It's pretty."

"What?"

"Yer smile. I like it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now put it away, it's annoyin'."

She tried her absolute best not to laugh at that too, and barely managed it.

"You should go back to sleep", she said, coaxing him. "You will feel better if you do."

"Hmm. And what will you be doin'?"

Rachel shrugged. What could she do this late in the day?

"You have any suggestions?"

He did.

"Come back t' bed. Sleep some more. We can eat together later when the world stops spinnin'…"

"Fine", she said and faked looking grumpy by pouting severely. He snorted at that.

She lay down next to him on her back and he draped the covers over her, not sharing it with her. He was laying on his side facing her and when she settled down he reached out a hand and carefully ruffled her hair one last time. In a heartbeat, he was asleep again.

Rachel remained still, enjoying the peace and quiet and the presence of her dear friend, strange as he was. She found it funny how it all turned out in the end. How everything could change just because of one lone person in a world full of monsters. Life was strange, but also beautiful.

She sniffed and grimaced. It sure didn't smell like it though.

"Zack."

He slept like the dead. She shoved him again.

"Zack. _Zack._ "

He opened one eye just a slit.

"You need to shower more often."

He grinned weakly and poked her on the tip of her nose.

"Not gonna happen. You'll just have to live with it."

* * *

 _ **The end.**_

 _ **Aaaaw, bless them both, the crazy youngsters...**_  
 _ **Please let me know if you liked it or have any other thoughts you'd like to share with me! And what do you think the new promise would have been? Thanks for reading, see you later! :)**_

 _ **~Theoris**_


End file.
